i am trapped

in a world

a world unknown to me

what is true
what is uncertain

the light
the darkness

the good
the bad

happiness
sadness

everything feels interchangeable

when you trust
they hurt you

when you do not trust
you hurt yourself

either way
the damage arrives

i wrap myself
in a vicious circle

round and round

no exit sign
no pause

routine consumes me
slowly
quietly

loneliness
my most consistent companion

i spend my days
wanting to be like everyone else

forgetting
how to be myself

i love
and i give everything

in the end
i am the only one left empty

suffering
depression

words people call normal

hurt
does it even matter anymore

love
what the fuck is that

live
for what

family

home

i do not even know
what home means

pain and regret
run in my veins

i drown in memories

punishments
care
weary tears

i was born
i loved
i hated

what else is left

a world

an unknown world

the same one
i once tried to survive

memories come and go

i do not know where i am

or why i am here

the only thing i know

the only thing that stays

is the image

of you

leaving